Goodbyes are never easy...

I have never been very good at saying goodbyes…maybe no one is good at it, but I really find it particularly hard to deal with.  Last week, I had to say two very different goodbyes.  One of a permanent kind and one temporary but both bittersweet!

Last Thursday, we had Dan’s monthly appointment with his hematologist, Dr. Medlin at the Avera Cancer Institute in Sioux Falls.  He was scheduled for his monthly IV chemo and an office visit with the doctor.  We had learned the previous month that this would be our last appointment with him, as he is moving to Arkansas.  It was quite a shock but we have learned to roll with the punches in this last year and a half!  For those of you who don’t know, my son Dan was diagnosed with Acute Lymphocytic Leukemia in Sept. 2009 while running on the Cross Country team for Buena Vista University.  We were first seen by a doctor in Sioux City but wanted to be closer to family, etc. in Sioux Falls so we were referred to Dr. Medlin (or Steve).  He was such a good fit for us…kind, caring, and willing to answer all of our questions…and believe me, we had a bunch!  He also gave Dan the “green light” to run again as soon as the initial, intense chemo was over last May which kept him going thru the tough times!  Anyone who has heard the words “You have Cancer” said to them or a loved one knows how important it is to have a doctor you can trust.  Steve helped to bring a sense of calm to our chaotic world and give us hope!  I am glad that he didn’t leave while we were still in the early stages of Dan’s illness – I think that would have been impossible to deal with!  We will be switching to Dr. Medlin’s partner, Dr. McCaul or Kelly, who we know and has performed several of Dan’s Lumbar Punctures.  He is also a runner, so that will be an added bonus!  He will be gone at our next appointment, so our next meeting with him will be in October when Dan has to have a Lumbar Puncture and a Bone Marrow Biopsy!  What a way to break him in!  We will really miss Steve but wish him well and know that we are in good hands with Kelly!  On to the next phase of our Leukemia journey – a year and a half to go!

Dr. Medlin and Dan at his last appointment

 On Friday, I helped Dan move into the dorm at Buena Vista for his Junior year!  I was reminiscing about dropping him off freshman year - it was extremely emotional for me!  I worried that he wouldn’t know anyone, not make friends, etc. – typical mom worries!  I needn’t have stressed so much – he had a girlfriend in 2 weeks!  Sophomore year (2009), it was a piece of cake!  No worries, dropped him off without a care until… he had to leave school on medical leave for the year and battle Leukemia.  Sophomore year round 2 (2010) was very difficult for me!  Sending him back to school with a host of medications and training all while still receiving  IV chemo once a month!  Also, getting back into studying etc. after a year off is never easy!  My biggest worry was keeping him healthy with his compromised immune system!  Again, no reason to worry.  He ran every Cross Country race with no problems and made the Dean’s List both semesters with a perfect 4.0 for the Spring semester... and he stayed relatively healthy all year long!  So this year when I said goodbye to him, I tried not to worry…what good does it do anyway!  On Sunday, he left for a trip with the team to Colorado!  I am trying not to stress about him running in the high altitude, getting high altitude sickness or pulmonary edema!  I am doing better…the concern is still there, but I am learning to trust a little more and have figured out that things will happen or not happen, whether you worry or not!  I will breathe a little easier when he is back in Iowa on Thursday! 

Dan’s first meet is on the Saturday of Labor Day weekend in Pella, IA.  Last year, the first meet of the year was in Mitchell, SD.  We weren’t sure if he would even be able to finish the race or how he would be able to do!  He finished without having to stop and didn’t finish last!  That trend would continue throughout the year with his times getting better with his best time at the last race of the year…4 days after having IV chemo, a lumbar puncture and a bone marrow biopsy!  We have no idea what to expect again this year…except that he is in much better shape and his times are getting close to what they were before he got sick!  I will keep you informed on how he does!

 

So, I guess I did well with both goodbyes…no tears or anything (well, maybe one)!  I just wish Abby Dog could get over missing Dan!  I swear, every year she thinks I did away with him or something.  She patiently waits by the door for him to come home, while shooting me dirty looks!  He will return…in about a month!  I think we will both be okay until then!